Long time no see – Part 1. The Meeting

So, it’s been five months since our last blog update! Apologies, dear readers for the long delay – I wish I had a fantastic reason for this. That we had been SO busy at panel, so busy looking for children, so busy matching with our chosen child and doing our initial visit. Sadly, none of this is the case.

So…. What HAS happened since March? Not very much to be honest. Our complaint to Action For Children did encourage Mosaic to be a more efficient and better in terms of communication and response for a while, but this was short-lived.

After their request for an updated psychiatric assessment, we had asked Mosaic via email whether they would consider funding or part funding this assessment. It was going to cost at least £1000 and Ethan had found via his membership of several adoption forums, that other agencies had willingly paid for or contributed to this report when it had been something they were insisting upon.

Neither Caroline (the Team Manager) nor Anne (the person at Mosaic now responsible for adopter liaison, who did our pre-Stage 1 interview) was able to respond to this request via email and again we had several days of being ignored: no replies to email, no response to telephone messages. Then we were asked to come in for a meeting on 9th May. Why, we weren’t sure!

Readers, I cannot adequately put into words how challenging this meeting was. How confrontational and unprofessional Caroline, in particular, was (and Anne wasn’t much better), how we were DRAGGED over the coals. Ethan in particular, who had sent more than one quite irritated emails over the course of our ‘journey’ complaining about the lack of progress (fair) and total inefficiency (accurate) we’d experienced with Mosaic, as well as raising legitimate questions over whether Mosaic’s treatment of him was actually somewhat discriminatory, was singled out for a grilling.

Caroline had several of Ethan’s emails printed out out and readied, as if she fancied herself as some second-rate barrister at a Kangaroo court assembled especially by her to chasten us. She read out sections of Ethan’s emails to evidence his ‘hostility’ and ‘aggression’. Ethan maintained that nothing he’d written was aggressive, but rather that he was challenging what he found to be substandard communication and unnecessary delays. At one point Caroline theatrically left the room (“I need a moment”) though this leave of absence was never explained, before or after. She also took great pleasure in saying “In all of these emails, where are the children? Children are supposed to be at the centre of the adoption process, where are the children in these emails?”. I swear to God, it took everything in Ethan and I not to jump on to the table and scream in that bitch’s face: “WE WOULDN’T BE HERE IF IT WASN’T FOR THE CHILDREN, YOU STUPID FECKLESS COCKWOMBLE!”

Anyway….

Essentially their rationale seemed to be to ‘tell us off’, to make sure we left with our tail between our legs, that they would never again receive an email that called them to account. Both of these fine professionals expressed, on more than one occasion during the meeting ‘If we (Mosaic) are so bad, why are you with us?’ – translation: find another agency, boys.

This seemed infantile and petty coming from two adoption professionals but the answer, I would think, was obvious – not only to them but to any right-minded human being: we had been  on this adoption journey for over twelve months and we seemed to be getting precisely nowhere, despite our best efforts. Do you really expect us to jump ship now? After so much effort expended and frustration endured? I put it to them both that yes, things were challenging and yes, there had been some tense moments – but couldn’t we move past them and try and GET THIS THING DONE.

Caroline graciously let us know that she would discuss our future with Anne and get back to us (i.e. tell us whether they were going to continue with us) and we left; weary, angry, outraged but undaunted – in spite of Mosaic, we were going to move ahead. We were going to get approved, we were going to find our child.

Or so we thought…..

 

2 thoughts on “Long time no see – Part 1. The Meeting

  • Oh my goodness, couldn’t believe what I was just reading! That’s so awful that they’ve now turned on you. I’m so sorry it’s been such an awful experience so far for you both. I’m hoping part 2 holds a ray of hope xxx

  • Just read your latest update and am feeling so cross on your behalf that after so long you still must feel you are getting nowhere. Meanwhile a child who could be benefiting from you love and experience is being left waiting…So sorry but do keep going. In our experience a lot of the journey seemed to be a test of endurance and perseverance xx

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