Lost in the Wilderness

“And now we’re lost in wilderness
Lost, crying in the wilderness
And if anyone’s watching it seems they couldn’t care less
We’re lost in the wilderness”
‘Lost in the Wilderness’, Music & Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz

The government aim is that the process to approve potential adopters should take six months. We were accepted by Mosaic to start our adoption journey sometime in early June ’15. That gives us a supposed target of November for approval.

Here’s the thing: WE ARE NOT EVEN AT STAGE TWO YET. Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad if we knew exactly what was holding up our progress. If the conscientious professionals at Mosaic kept us updated regularly with what was happening and what (if anything) we needed to do. If our social worker kept us abreast of her progress, what she is doing, and what will happen next.

I think you know what’s coming…..

NONE. OF. THAT. IS HAPPENING.

We hear nothing from the agency from week to week, month to month. Trudy is on holiday; She didn’t think to mention it.

 

So, we sent this email on Tuesday:

DearTrudyVeraand

Regular readers will know Trudy as our allocated social worker. Vera is the ever-so-efficient Business Support Officer for Mosaic (more on her later) and Caroline is the Team Leader. As I said, we sent this email on Tuesday morning. By Friday, having not received a response from any of the three recipients, I called Vera’s number. Below is the transcript (from memory) of that conversation:

J:Hi Vera, did you get my email?
V: Yes, Caroline and I were talking about it today.
J: Ok…..
V: Hold there a moment, let me get your folder out
(Two minutes later)
V: Ok, I have your file.
(10 second pause)
V: So, there’s a delay on your international check – there’s a delay on all of those at the moment I’m afraid. And we’re waiting on your previous employer checks. And we are still chasing some of your Local Authority checks. Did Trudy speak to you before she went away?
J: No she hasn’t spoken to either of us. Trudy is away, then?
V: Yes
J: Oh. Ok.
V: So, what I’ll do is I’ll do a really thorough review of your file, I’ll speak to Caroline and I’ll get back to you.

So, that was that. So I suppose this served to elucidate why we’re not progressing but I’m certainly no clearer on what we can do to speed things up (if anything). I’m also frustrated that we seem to have to initiate all the contact and chase things up: surely the agency have a vested interest in getting things moving too?

What made it more difficult is that we visited Robert and Greg last weekend (who we met at a New Family Social event – see the Neverland post). They are, quite literally, living the dream. We spent the whole afternoon with them and their two boys (aged 6 and 4): playing outside, looking at the boys’ life story books, talking about the process and their own journey, and it was BLISS. We loved the boys and they loved us!  We wrestled, we built lego, we did some colouring: they played and engaged with us so easily. It made us both so envious and so frustrated at all the things we want but seem to be getting no closer to achieving. Robert and Greg also commented on just how readily the boys took to us: something they don’t usually do with people they don’t know well.

We can only hope that things do progress, that Trudy does eventually come back from holiday, that Vera miraculously discovers some sense of urgency somewhere amongst our file and that some time in the next century we can wrestle, build Lego and colour-in with our own little boy, in our own little home, when we’re part of our own little family.

Fingers crossed!

4 thoughts on “Lost in the Wilderness

  • Don’t give up or get too frustrated. I’m sure the process is different there but we had our challenges too. You’re doing the right thing by contacting your adoption team and holding them accountable to the established process. You just need to keep them focused on your case – the squeaky wheel gets the oil. Fingers crossed that things will get moving in the right direction very soon.

  • Hi, I have been there with the lack of communication from social workers – not knowing their working hours or even working days as she was part time. She didn’t have an ‘out of office’ on her email so we didn’t know if she ever read them, it was a truly awful time for us.

    I say take control, do what you can to help matters, can you contact previous employers for references and let them know why you need them to comply speedily?

    The other checks do take time, but you could ask your MP why they are taking so long when the government are actively recruiting adopters when there are known blockages in the system?
    I’ve had some very good (recent) results by contacting MPs.

    Good luck to you both, I hope you’re not waiting much longer, you can always play with my Lego for practice x

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